Alright, I suppose the title is a bit misleading.
I do NOT have the “Holiday Blues”. At least, I think I don’t. For the first time in years, I’m spending the holidays in my home state, near my family and those dearest to me. I’m very content with my life at this point. There’s always room for personal improvement, I believe, so I don’t necessarily wish for my life to stay exactly the same. In fact, I wish for the opposite. I wish that I will continue to grow and learn new things and blossom in my life. Sure, I could be more successful, fitter, smarter, kinder, cleaner, but where I’m at is something that I like. I am starting to actually like myself. I’ve spent a lot of my life not liking myself because of how other perceive me. At this point, though, I’m starting to realize it doesn’t matter. My perception of myself is the most important thing because at the end of the day, I’m the only person consistently in my own life. I’m overall pretty happy with my life. I’m working to goals that are just for me, and only me. I live my life for me.
HOWEVER, I’ve got to be like the worst writer in the whole world. With all the new changes in my life, moving across the country and starting a new job and being involved in the opening of said new job, I haven’t had a single brain cell to give over to The Autumn Project. I’ve had several moments where I’ve sat down to work on it, re-read what I’ve already written, and not added a single word. That all changed the other day though, when I sat down to work at it, as if by miracle, the ideas began flowing and the typing began! At this snails pace, there’s no way I’ll have this finished by Spring. I was shooting to be finished and editing by Spring 2024 so that I could begin inquiries with publishing companies and agents to work to a release. At this pace, I’ll be ecstatic if I’m able to finish it by Summer 2024, and that’s only if I’m lucky. I say luck because my inspiration has been flowing in such short spouts as of late and I consider myself lucky if I have one of those days where it’s on point. I wish that I was able to just be creative 100% of the time, especially when it comes to my book. As I’m sure I’ve said before, the storyline is completely mapped out. I know what happens in any given point of the story and I could explain it to you, but I just can’t get the words on to the page. I know they’re in my brain somewhere, I just can’t fish them out! Lorelle’s story is really cool, I think, but I just can’t get it on the paper. The day I’m holding my book in my hands, I think I’ll cry. I’ve had this story in my back pocket since I was in highschool. It’s something I started playing with in study hall when I had finished all of my other work, The story has evolved completely, it’s almost a new story entirely. The basic idea behind the plot is similar, but more thought out now. The characters are the same, but I’ve added in more interesting characters as well. It’s something I’m proud of, even though it’s not done and I can’t even imagine how proud I’ll be when I see it up on the shelves in my favorite book stores.
Speaking of bookstores… I’m in a reading slump again. I keep borrowing books on my Kobo and then not reading them. I started a book a while back that was interesting at first but it unfortunately didn’t keep my interest for much longer.
I want to find a book that feels like Fargo. It’s one of my favorite movies and my partner and I have recently started the TV show and it actually is amazing. Unfortunately, I keep falling asleep when something good happens, though. Apparently. Either way though, I love the small town crime, people getting mixed up in things they shouldn’t, unsuspecting villains, all in the midst of winter. If I could just have like 10 books like that, I think I’d eat them up. I also now only have one month left to finish my reading goal of 10 books this year total. I’ve read 8 books total this year so if I can just get through two more this month, I’ll be a VERY happy camper. It’s payday today so who knows, maybe I’ll buy a new book! (Spoiler Alert: I will.)